Summary:
In a drunken haze Nick Bond got married in Las Vegas, the city of fake marriages. The big story about this is that Bond had two other girlfriends back in the UK while getting married to the American woman. While being away his two other girlfriends, with one of whom he has two children with, thought their relationship was going splendid. Enjoying while spending time with each other and going to each other families. It was only seventeen hours after their drunken midnight adventure that Alex and Nick got married.
Opinion:
I find this news rather stupid to be honest. Who cares that some guy gets married in Vegas while having two girlfriends. The comments from people that they are complimenting Bond with his ‘Achievements’ and they want to know how he did it was rather amusing. What I did not like about the article is that they do not show whether Bond is a famous Englishmen or that he is just a common man because if he isn't a famous person than this news is totally and completed irrelevant.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2960793/Brit-who-married-a-stranger-in-Las-Vegas-had-two-secret-girlfriends-at-the-time.html
This summary needs reviewing. Avoid "the big story about this..." and focus on the information. Also "with one of whom he has two children with" is a double use of with and could be phrased better with the entire sentence. Adjective endings for "going splendid" and the following sentence is rather confused. My suggestion would be to proof read it again now and see if you can phrase it a bit better.
ReplyDeleteThe opinion is better though try to be a bit more fluent and formal in your style. Your sentence structure is fairly repetitive as you say "I did..." a lot!
Kate